I appear to be a confident person. On the whole, I am, but I have worked all my life to build the aura of confidence. More importantly I have struggled to overcome fear of rejection. I sought to be liked, to be accepted and confident in myself as a response to the pain of rejection, and my own fear of it.
Fears often handicap us. Most of the time fear is not a healthy part of our life because it has grown outside the intended area of protecting us from danger. It grows into areas of perceived danger and settles there, long after the distinction between real and perceived has been made.
I think that is why we can retain worries about what people think of us, and some personalities are far more prone to that than others. Without stepping outside my bounds on this (I am no psychoanalyst), this whole area of life is one that motivated me to write down helpful strategies and information that I think will keep rejection from crushing you.Don’t Let Rejection Crush You
It really comes from a very logical place. As people we need to be discerning in many decisions every day. We have to choose.
We also have a lifelong learning process of what we like or don’t, want – or don’t, ad infinitum until we die. We are choosing and rejecting all the time.
But when others do this, and particularly when that rejecting involves our not being chosen, that is when it starts to feel like personal, emotional hurt.
A problem that arose for me, and I am sure is common, is that I took that rejection personally. I interpreted it as saying that something was wrong with me, and none of us likes to face that idea.
Throughout life there are messages that things are wrong with us, and some of those are true and some are not. But the hurt involved in looking at these ideas is going to stand in the way of making progress in life and relationships.
At Â a certain point I decided to have more control over this inside my own mind. To not let it take on a life of its own (which often led to damaging consequences).
Don’t fear rejection, instead if you have to fear something let it be a lack of personal growth.
Rejection can be our friend, and I just love the way one man explored that idea.